T.A. Michaels

 No sooner did i mention that I have a new job, was i laid off for excessive days off. It's really for the birds. Here i am a disabled person who wants to work... and I've had an incredibly hard time hold down a job this year. Whether it be manic episodes due to the medication my doctor put me on, or the company pulling a bait and switch and finding due to that I'm not qualified for the position, to being out sick a couple of days and getting let go... this year has been terrible. While I've had frequent thoughts of a permanent "Out" for myself from this life... it would seem like a waste to get from an unsuccessful suicide attempt in 2008 to giving it another go 17 years later. I feel like if i survived the first attempt... then i must be here on this planet for some reason so i need to make the best of my time. Even in poor health, an optimistic attitude can make the difference between healing or not.   I don't know what my plan is now. But, i know that ...

 I recently started a new job at the beginning of September and my body and mind have been through the ringer since I started. The job itself is good, fairly low stress and a good team of people... But for some reason every time i start a new job i end up catching the office cold. During the first week on the job my Gallbladder (which has been giving me issues since last year) decided to start acting up. While it could be a lot worse, i am just grateful that that is calming down. This past weekend however, when UBER driving on Sunday, I started to feel a sharp pain in my back which can be linked to one of four things - Stress, Muscle spasm, Gallbladder Disease, or a Heart Attack. My initial thoughts were that the issue was a heart attack after sitting for an extended period of time, but that turned out to not be the case. The pain went away on Tuesday and started to get better and now i only feel slight pain if i twist the wrong way... so im chalking that up to a muscle spasm. Tues...