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Therapy

 So, I've been in Therapy for over a year now. When I first started I had major trust issues. What I learned was that was mainly due to abandonment issues which had taken place throughout my Childhood. I find it interesting that something so small as being left alone in a casino for a few hours while my family went and gambled.. could have such an impact on me as an adult. To the point where I sabotaged a lot of my adult friendships and relationships as a result. Basically pushing others away because i was afraid that they would one day leave me. And by me pushing them away... I never let them get close enough to truly hurt me. But in the process... I hurt myself. As well as a lot of other people. Mix trust issues with paranoid delusions... and you get someone who has a hard time letting anyone near them... for fear that i will end up being hurt.. and hurting the other person. Through therapy i worked through most of the issues. When i saw my therapist today... we talked about my relationship... my issues at work... my financial issues... and my parents. While it sounds like all i did was have a conversation with a friend... the probing questions that he asks often lead me to a better understanding of my situations.. which is good for the most part. While I wouldn't say there were any major "Breakthroughs" that result in me balling my eyes out... or having a major epiphany... I feel that Therapy has been helpful in dealing with the day to day stresses of my disorder. Every two weeks I meet with him and it adds a bit of routine and structure to life. I know that if anything's truly bothering me. My mental health support system will be there for me within a few days and allow me to vent my frustrations about intrusive thoughts or Auditory hallucinations... Paranoia.. or general health issues.. and i have a professional who will actively listen... and if needed adjust the dosage of my medications in order to try to off set the symptoms I am experiencing.

That's all for now

T.A. Michaels

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