T.A. Michaels

So... Yesterdays goals failed miserably. So today I am starting fresh. My goal is to get a job in 30 days that has health insurance so that way I don't run out of my medication in November. The last thing we need is me completely out of my head because I the last time that happened I challenged Donald Trump to a dick measuring contest in Washington D.C. on Facebook Live (2017). So... rather than becoming an enemy of the state, I'd prefer to remain on my medication. But, the job hunt hasn't gone to well. I haven't had any leads lately and what I am finding is there is 100 applicants for the jobs I'm applying for. So what used to be a good job market has diminished entirely. So i am thinking about other industries i can get into. And not even on a tech level. More so thinking about trying to learn a trade. Tradesmen are in high demand. And it pays pretty well. So that might be the avenue I go down. In the mean time I'm going to continue Uber Driving so that the bi...

I've made the decision to quit cannabis. Firstly, I found out that cannabis actually can cause cancer thanks in part to some of the Carcinogens in it and considering I've been a cigarette and cannabis smoker since I was a teenager, it only makes sense to try quitting now during my 40th year of life rather than waiting another 10 years. I am actively working on switching to Zyn's because Nicotine - While still a poison - it isn't as deadly as just cigarettes.  I've begun working out again. I'm going to a 24/7 gym and working out before my Uber Shift. Overall it's good. Not many people in the gym, and I am doing about a 30 minute strength training session. What i need to do now is start investing in Protein Shakes to have after the gym. After working out, I am getting into the habit of working overnight. My goal is a 6 day on / 1 day off schedule at least until i can get a stable job again. I figure once i go the required 30 days to Piss Clean, i am going to t...

I'm getting ready for work. I'm hoping tonight will be a better night that last night. I am planning to go out around 6:00pm tonight and work until 5:00am tomorrow morning. I need to make up for lost wages from last night, and at this point every dollar counts. We have 7 more days to make rent. Otherwise the 20th is going to be a really sad day for us. I was hoping to have rent paid in full by Friday... but considering we have our Taxes, and my car payment coming up Wednesday and Friday, i don't see how that is going to happen. I swear Donald Trump weaponized the NSA against me. It's the only logical answer according to Occam's Razor. I'm still half asleep. If we pull this off it will be nothing short of a major feat. Then in a day or two... and we can start moving in the right direction.

Everything's fucked. 

So, I failed miserably at attempting to quit smoking. First, the urge to smoke was too much even with a Nicotine patch on. So last night when I was driving I ended up buying a pack of Cigarettes and taking the patch off. I figure i am going to go with Zyn's as an acceptable replacement for smoking. I gives the Nicotine fix.... but removes the smell of smoking with is preferred in a car full of Uber passengers.  I have decided to quit smoking cannabis though. My wife and I talked yesterday and she said that it makes me "Mean." Stating that I'm not as kind as when i met her and that she wouldn't have married me if i was a mean person 4 years ago. Considering I have a cousin going into Rehab in the near future for Alcohol and Cannabis use.... It only makes sense that I should curb the problem. I don't think I need rehab. I think a year ago I did.... but I was able to quit alcohol on my own so it stands to reason that I should be able to quit Cannabis on my own as...

I feel out of it. Like i didn't get enough sleep last night. My vision is a little weird too. Going from Focused to Unfocused and back to focused. It's not the best. In fact it's not great at all really. I can't drive for Uber like this.... but I'm telling myself that its just because I got up too early (The last 3 days I was waking up after 2pm and today i woke up at 11am). When I woke today my intention was to go Uber Driving... but that sorta faded after washing my car and realizing that Day Light is extremely bright. So I came back home and started my Laundry.  Day 1 of the Patch. I basically tossed all remaining Nicotine items that I had and threw the patch on this morning. 55 More days to go until I'm nicotine free. I am planning on Avoiding Nick-A-Nee's for the next week or so. No sense in being around other smokers when I'm not smoking. It's similar to how I quit Drinking... I Abstained for about a week before I went back to make sure there w...

We might just be able to pull it off. I'm averaging about $240 a night... And my wife is averaging about $100 per day. So i think we are going to be able to make it. I am down 1.2Lbs from yesterday. I think the combination of not eating and no drinking alcohol is finally leading to weight loss. The problem.... due to taking respiridone for nearly 18 years means that my stomach is shrinking but my chest isnt. I'm sure in public i'm going to hear a lot of "She" or "Lucifer" or "The devil" so in order to get ahead of this i am going to start working out. I figure massive amounts of chest exercises will cause then to turn into Pecks rather than look like I got implants. Today is the last day for Nicotine. I have 11 Zyns left plus the one I am currently using. If i finish them during my shift tonight.... I'll throw on a Nicotine patch and call it a day. If i don't, then whatever I have left over at the end of the night will get tossed and I...

It's Wednesday. I got up a couple of hours ago. When I got up I went to get a coffee, Gas, and came back home to shower. When i weighed myself today i clocked in at 220.6lbs. It's my lowest weight since the start of the pandemic. And it's down nearly 50lbs since my high of 269.8lbs at the end of 2021. Trust me - you don't want to be 270lbs and 5'7 3/4". No one does. I'm optimistic that things will work out. Right now we have 13 days to make rent and we have to pay our cell phone, car payments, and insurance payments in the next 13 days too. With any luck it will work out. If not - We are definitely moving as soon as possible. I won't know until the 20th.  I found that driving for Uber I am averaging about $240 a night... Minus $40 for gas.... and another $10 for coffee, red bull, and Misc supplies... It's about $190 a night... Multiply that by 13 days and it's $2470.... figure that my wife earns about $120 a day.... and she's planning on wor...

I woke up about a half hour ago. Overall last night went well. I am thinking we should have enough money to make all of the bills by the end of the month. It may take a few days to get ramped up to speed. But I feel the plan my wife and I have is solid. I will say though, at 3:46 making the rest of the day worth while seems like its going to take a bit of work. The first thing i can tell you is my mind doesn't have much internal chatter going on. Likely from exhaustion. But That's not necessarily a bad thing. I just hope that by the time i am ready to go to the gym tonight that the brain fog has passed and I'm ready to work out.  My goal is 6 days per week... for about an hour each day. I'm shooting for somewhere between 8:00pm and 10:00pm. I am thinking 5-10 minute warm up, followed by 20-25 minute strength, and then 30 minutes of rowing...   ... I feel a hell of a lot more awake now that I've gotten an Iced Coffee. I have three more days to smoke cigarettes. I fee...

Today is a good day. I've decided to quit THC products rather than quitting Nicotine. I feel the next 90 days would be better spent getting my head clear rather than quitting an addictive substance. With that said, i am planning on quitting both in the near future. For THC Products - I've decided not to buy any more, and I've already thrown out what I had. I feel that as long as I am not in an environment where I am exposed to THC, then i will be able to successfully quit. While I'm not officially quitting until the 90-day sober mark, It makes sense for me to start making the changes now. Most people say Cannabis isn't addictive.... but on the very logic that Nicotine is addictive because it interacts with the Nicotine receptors in the brain.... Then it would stand to reason that cannabis is addictive due to the cannabis receptors in the brain. Over the next several weeks I'll outline any and all withdrawal symptoms I am having. And hopefully you notice a marked...