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Mothers Day

Normally for Mothers day I take my mom to one of the coastal cities and we get lunch at a restaurant. This year I didn't have that option due to all the restaurants being closed. Instead I took her out to get lunch (She paid)… and then brought her to go meet my kittens. It wasn't exactly a long day together... or the most fancy... but she had a good time none the less. The last thing she said to me was a bit troublesome though... She said it was better than last year. I cant for the life of me remember what we did last year for mothers day. I know it was a departure from the usual tradition... but i'm having a memory lapse on exactly what we did. I know that on May 3rd of last year in a paranoid delusion I quit my job thinking that my coworkers were going to kill me and my family. So given that Mothers day is the first or second weekend in may I cannot assume that my condition on that day was in great shape. Last year around this time I was in much worse shape than I am today mentally. The problem was that at the time I was being given to low of a dose of my anti-psychotic medication and as a result I never broke the narrative that was going on in my head. Hearing the voices of Friends and Strangers alike talking to me constantly had been going on for a year and a half my that point... and I was starting to lose my grip on reality. Over Easter of last year I was hospitalized due to the fact that I ran out of my medication... and didn't have enough money to get more. It seems silly to think that on a $70,000 salary that I couldn't afford my medication. I've always been terrible with money. Lately I've been improving but the fact that I am now on a fixed income which isn't a whole lot means that I have to learn to budget better. The wild weekends spending $200 to $300 on booze and tattoos will probably never happen again. But that's probably for the best. I'm hoping that next year for mothers day I have something memorable that I can do with my mom. Even if its just going to the city by the sea and reliving a tradition.

That's all for now,

-T.A. Michaels

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