Over the last 24 hours the rational part of my mind seems to have made a comeback. I'm actually thinking clearly about our situation for the first time in a long time and realizing it might not be so bleak after all. Realistically speaking, even with a large backlog of debts, it should be possible to pull of out of the damage from drinking over the last two years in less than 3 months. If you asked me a week ago, i would have told you our situation was hopeless. But, after today, I'm realizing that the plan I came up with a month ago, is actually a viable plan. I just need to see it through... and now that the windows are clearer, it's easier to see the destination.
Tonight we are heading over our friends' house to have dinner and hang out for a while. December 10th isn't really a memorable date. But every year around this time of year things start to happen that give tiny moments like these a real feeling of warming. Today even, it was nearly 60 degrees at one point today and it made this brutal cold seem bearable. It's not safe to be outside during the darkest of winter. Cold brings out the worst in people, and overall it's hard to handle because it also brings out the despair in people. Merge the two together and you could be looking at a cold dark society which emerges in the spring jaded working every year to bring happiness into ones life only to suffer the cold dark winter the following year. Today i have hope though. Recently i was inspired after talking with people that care about me. The best part is... a renewed sense of hope can alter the mind in such a way... it's better than any drug or substance that you can use ...
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