Today was an early day for me. I was home by dark which here in RI was around 6:15. There was a bit of hope for tomorrow as I caught a few rays of sunshine on the drive home. It looks like this cloudy weather is going to hold up until Saturday - Then it is supposed to clear up for the weekend. I've decided the 90 days is a good method.... but instead of going 90 days sober... 90 days without nicotine... and then debating about pot after the fact. I'm probably going to do 90 days sober... then 90 days without cannabis.... and then decide on the nicotine. I've had too many half hearted attempts at quitting smoking cigarettes and pot over the last 90 days. Because Cannabis makes me chain smoke cigarettes... it would stand to reason that I should quit the one that makes me chain smoke first... then worry about the actual smoking. Plus... i think atleast part of my mood swings can be linked to pot.... so if i eliminate the pot. i might be in better shape as a result. Either way... I have 9 days to decide.
Tonight we are heading over our friends' house to have dinner and hang out for a while. December 10th isn't really a memorable date. But every year around this time of year things start to happen that give tiny moments like these a real feeling of warming. Today even, it was nearly 60 degrees at one point today and it made this brutal cold seem bearable. It's not safe to be outside during the darkest of winter. Cold brings out the worst in people, and overall it's hard to handle because it also brings out the despair in people. Merge the two together and you could be looking at a cold dark society which emerges in the spring jaded working every year to bring happiness into ones life only to suffer the cold dark winter the following year. Today i have hope though. Recently i was inspired after talking with people that care about me. The best part is... a renewed sense of hope can alter the mind in such a way... it's better than any drug or substance that you can use ...
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