I had an appointment with my doctor this past Wednesday. He advised me to apply for Social Security due to my current mental state. He stated that it would be best because it was give us more time in order to figure out the proper medication that I will need rather than trying to rush things while I am on Temporary Disability. This comes as somewhat hard news for me because I am trying to figure out how to adjust my life. Social Security will not be a lot of money... But I will qualify for benefits which should allow me to have health care again seeing as I haven't had any since getting laid off back in October. Paying for every medication and Doctor visit at full price hasn't been easy. In fact it hasn't been good at all. Some weeks I've been left in the red due to the cost of the medication. I have recently switched pharmacies due to this because Walmart has my drugs at a much lower cost than CVS when it comes to paying for them without health insurance. I have been using the GoodRX Coupons through the app in order to cover one of the medications.
I realize that the news and social media are going into a major swing right now due to fears over the impact of the Corona Virus. I find it interesting that social media is making a joke out of the virus, mean while the news is making it out to be the worst thing in history. Personally I know people effected by the virus. I know friends who are currently laid off due to their jobs shutting down as they work for sporting complexes. And my girlfriend is personally effected due to her working at an RX chain and the stress she has been under in the last two weeks has led to multiple panic attacks both at work and at home. In my state, the capital has shut down large gathering of people so all types of entertainment and live music have been shut down. When speaking with my uncle he seems to think this will last until the vaccine trials are over. I'm curious to see if this is a sort of mass hysteria or if the issue is justified. Of the 1000+ cases in the US there have been 40 known deaths as of something I read yesterday. That's a 4% mortality rate based on the cases and realistically if there was 100 million Americans that were effected then 4 million people would die. Again... its hard to tell if this is a legit concern for the population... or if this is just a failed response by government officials to a potentially deadly virus. This in an off itself will cause a lot of anxiety among the general population... so for a short time I don't feel so alone in my paranoia that something bad is going to happen.
I am having side effects from my medication which I had not experienced at such a deep level. I've been having hand tremors. One of the side effects of Risperidone is pseudo Parkinson's symptoms and i feel like I have not started to experience those symptoms. I find that when I am holding a fork or knife that my hands are not steady. And I've also found that I'm experiencing a stiffness or "curling" in my foot when I go to try and get out of the car. Basically my foot will be stiff and when I go to walk on it, it feels like its curled inward. That has to do with the way the foot rest in my car is. I'm taking the necessary measures to make sure that nothing gets out of hand in regards to the tremors or stiffness and I have been going on daily walks with my girlfriend in order to get some exercise in. My goal is to get back into the gym as soon as possible in order to get my weight under control. Since starting this medication in January, I have gained roughly 10 pounds with zero change in my diet. I realize that the medication is known for slowing down my metabolism... and I think the fact that I am not doing much in the way of physical activity since going on Temporary Disability... it's making me gain weight faster than I expected.
My long term goal is to be on Social Security only long enough for me to get my medications adjusted and make it so that when I walk into a public space I don't hear the whispers of those around me talking as if they knew my thoughts. Long enough so that way when I hear a TV or Radio at low volume it doesn't sound like they are talking to me directly regarding what I am thinking about. And long enough that the voices in my head are singular.... rather than being disjoined echos of former friends and strangers telling me why I am not good enough, or why I am a horrible human being.
There is some good news in my life. I can't get into detail now because I was told that its not to be public knowledge just yet... but a recent milestone within my circle occurred and I am nervously excited about it.
I think that's all I have for today,
-T.A. Michaels
I realize that the news and social media are going into a major swing right now due to fears over the impact of the Corona Virus. I find it interesting that social media is making a joke out of the virus, mean while the news is making it out to be the worst thing in history. Personally I know people effected by the virus. I know friends who are currently laid off due to their jobs shutting down as they work for sporting complexes. And my girlfriend is personally effected due to her working at an RX chain and the stress she has been under in the last two weeks has led to multiple panic attacks both at work and at home. In my state, the capital has shut down large gathering of people so all types of entertainment and live music have been shut down. When speaking with my uncle he seems to think this will last until the vaccine trials are over. I'm curious to see if this is a sort of mass hysteria or if the issue is justified. Of the 1000+ cases in the US there have been 40 known deaths as of something I read yesterday. That's a 4% mortality rate based on the cases and realistically if there was 100 million Americans that were effected then 4 million people would die. Again... its hard to tell if this is a legit concern for the population... or if this is just a failed response by government officials to a potentially deadly virus. This in an off itself will cause a lot of anxiety among the general population... so for a short time I don't feel so alone in my paranoia that something bad is going to happen.
I am having side effects from my medication which I had not experienced at such a deep level. I've been having hand tremors. One of the side effects of Risperidone is pseudo Parkinson's symptoms and i feel like I have not started to experience those symptoms. I find that when I am holding a fork or knife that my hands are not steady. And I've also found that I'm experiencing a stiffness or "curling" in my foot when I go to try and get out of the car. Basically my foot will be stiff and when I go to walk on it, it feels like its curled inward. That has to do with the way the foot rest in my car is. I'm taking the necessary measures to make sure that nothing gets out of hand in regards to the tremors or stiffness and I have been going on daily walks with my girlfriend in order to get some exercise in. My goal is to get back into the gym as soon as possible in order to get my weight under control. Since starting this medication in January, I have gained roughly 10 pounds with zero change in my diet. I realize that the medication is known for slowing down my metabolism... and I think the fact that I am not doing much in the way of physical activity since going on Temporary Disability... it's making me gain weight faster than I expected.
My long term goal is to be on Social Security only long enough for me to get my medications adjusted and make it so that when I walk into a public space I don't hear the whispers of those around me talking as if they knew my thoughts. Long enough so that way when I hear a TV or Radio at low volume it doesn't sound like they are talking to me directly regarding what I am thinking about. And long enough that the voices in my head are singular.... rather than being disjoined echos of former friends and strangers telling me why I am not good enough, or why I am a horrible human being.
There is some good news in my life. I can't get into detail now because I was told that its not to be public knowledge just yet... but a recent milestone within my circle occurred and I am nervously excited about it.
I think that's all I have for today,
-T.A. Michaels
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