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Day 90: Zero Alcohol.

I feel out of it. Like i didn't get enough sleep last night. My vision is a little weird too. Going from Focused to Unfocused and back to focused. It's not the best. In fact it's not great at all really. I can't drive for Uber like this.... but I'm telling myself that its just because I got up too early (The last 3 days I was waking up after 2pm and today i woke up at 11am). When I woke today my intention was to go Uber Driving... but that sorta faded after washing my car and realizing that Day Light is extremely bright. So I came back home and started my Laundry. 

Day 1 of the Patch. I basically tossed all remaining Nicotine items that I had and threw the patch on this morning. 55 More days to go until I'm nicotine free. I am planning on Avoiding Nick-A-Nee's for the next week or so. No sense in being around other smokers when I'm not smoking. It's similar to how I quit Drinking... I Abstained for about a week before I went back to make sure there were no cravings. So I figure I'll abstain again for at least a week so that I don't slide on smoking. I'd fear the worst and end up Smoking and Drinking.... But i feel that after being 90 Days sober - I'll likely not fall back on drinking.  

One thing to note is that after three days without Cannabis my internal chatter died off. Not to say i didn't think... It's just that the 10 - 20 other voices that normally inhabit my head were basically gone. I don't know if that means my "Psychic Powers" had diminished... Or if that meant that the long term psychosis had faded briefly until i ended up smoking again last night. I can tell you today i am hearing the 10 - 20 other voices that have existed for the last few years.  So.... while i enjoy having "Friends" in my head... i really fucking don't. So i think on this, the 90th day of sobriety.... I am choosing to not only quit Nicotine.... but also Cannabis. In the interest of my mental health. It might take months to recover.... But considering the Ukraine / Russian war started on the day that i went back to marijuana about 3 or 4 years ago... it only makes sense that world peace is dependent on me being clean and sober. 

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