Today I feel hopeful that I'll be in a good position to quit alcohol in the long run. Overtime it's for the best, to start with the most destructive addiction first, and then slowly remove all vices. In terms of drugs... i started with nicotine, then moved on to marijuana, then moved on to alcohol... therefore... if i am to quit, i need to go in the reverse order so that it actually works. Otherwise I'll be dead before my 45th birthday. My wife finds it interesting that i have these addictions, knowing that at least two people i have known have died from Alcohol poisoning. Sure, tobacco kills.... but smoking a pack isn't going to kill you in a night. While it might be highly addictive... its not the worst of the three demons. That is why today is day one of no alcohol... and not day one addiction free. If i try to quit drinking.. while also trying to quit smoking cigarettes and pot... i feel I'll end up far worse of than i started. And, as several health care professionals have taught me, quitting everything all at once never works. Today it's alcohol.... then when I'm ready its pot... and then when I'm ready... its Tobacco. Everything in it's own time because life isn't meant to be rushed.
Tonight we are heading over our friends' house to have dinner and hang out for a while. December 10th isn't really a memorable date. But every year around this time of year things start to happen that give tiny moments like these a real feeling of warming. Today even, it was nearly 60 degrees at one point today and it made this brutal cold seem bearable. It's not safe to be outside during the darkest of winter. Cold brings out the worst in people, and overall it's hard to handle because it also brings out the despair in people. Merge the two together and you could be looking at a cold dark society which emerges in the spring jaded working every year to bring happiness into ones life only to suffer the cold dark winter the following year. Today i have hope though. Recently i was inspired after talking with people that care about me. The best part is... a renewed sense of hope can alter the mind in such a way... it's better than any drug or substance that you can use ...
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